Things can change so fast

the last post focused on my love of the grey area, you know that point where it's not bad but at the same time it is not good..

one thing is constant with my cancer, when it rears it's ugly mutated split cell head it always starts the same way, i get this most god awful taste in my mouth, that's due to the necrotic tissue dying and mixing and me swallowing it, i tried putting a cuspidor in the front room but the S.O. has issues with that, well mainly she has issues with my bad aim.

but back on track, i get this nasty taste, it always has started the same way, and starting yesterday it was back with a vengeance.

I looked in my mouth and in the back of my throat is a large dead tissue area, it was not there on 01/15/2012, because i am sure my cancer doctor would have said something, usually along the lines of "oh hell"

but it's back, 4 times i got that taste, 4 times i have seen the necrotic tissue (the first time i did not know what it was called) and 3 times i have had it confirmed by the doctors...

I so hope i am wrong, this is one thing i always want to be shown up on, but come Friday i will know, i have a standing appointment with the Cancer ENT on Friday so i will find out then,

aside from that now looking back i have slowed my eating (another sign) i am extremely tired (another sign) and i am somewhat agitated (another sign, but also due to the rash and itching)

but one thing, it may sound strange, this cancer is periodic and fast, what i mean is that at times it seems like it stops and then it speeds up like a rabbit on speed,

well that's the update for now, i am still taking the pills that are making me feel like brown playdoh, i am still ugly, and i am still looking more and more like my father...just before he passed.

well if you asked my father he would have told you he was "one handsome S.O.B" so i am not sure if that is good or not.

later kids