A quick note before i forget

and at times i have the memory of a single cell amoeba, so i will post this now and make a more detailed one later, i am already working on it, i will still be around, i am not planning anything drastic so don't worry, but i have a rare chance that most don't get to have.

I get to say goodbye,

I want to say i am sorry,

Sorry for not seeing my kids and your kids grow up,
Sorry for leaving you all here,
Sorry for not being able to help you when you need help, not answering your calls, not moving your furniture, not sitting and sharing a beer (or diet pepsi) and watching the world turn with you.
Sorry for not being able to help with your problems, for not being a sounding board for ideas you may have, or troubles you need help with.
Sorry for not being able to Diagnose your PC over the phone, and then laugh at you when you ask "where is the any key"? It has happened.
Sorry that i will not be able to hold your hand, offer you good words when you need them,
Sorry that you will not be able to yell at me, or i at you when we misbehave, or we are thinking each other is,
Sorry that i will be leaving my two girls, Sasha and Leela,

and most of all,

Sorry for making you all sad in my passing ( and some happy, but each their own), i would never do it on purpose, i did not plan on doing it now, i so wanted to share our retirement with all of us, taking trips, swapping stories about the kids, taking weird trips and having the pictures to prove we had, having correspondence (on paper and in emails) laughing at us and the world.

I use to joke that i could never kill myself(still can't) because i always want to see whats going to happen next, i am sorry i will not be able to see what happens next.

I will not be buried, i am going to be cremated and i would like to be scattered in two places i like, and one i will not like but at least one person will be able to have her breakfast with me and talk at me when she wants.

my two places are in the back roads of Illinois and in the desert, I loved the back roads of Illinois when i lived there, covered in snow, cold, clear bleak but peaceful I liked that area, and the desert..well anyplace but near Barstow, Barstow is a great place to be from, the operative is "from"

So goodbye my friends

Like i said a more detailed one is in the works, and it will not be posted till near the end, which i hope is still a while away.

Cory Houchen
Long Beach Calif, 04/09/2011