Damn I missed it...

I Missed it July 28 has come and gone, one year ago that date was the start of my radiation, or sunburn for the extreme set as i started calling it, i thought i would say something that day but i must have pushed it out of my mind.

since that date i have spent many a hour in radiation, a few hours in the infusion lab (chemo) 3 trips into the hospital, and i will not even count the doctors visits and the damn co-pays.

i have lost many a hour of work, i lost my new motorcycle, lost my salivary glands, my taste buds and part of my hearing (that came back though) i still have lost the feelings in the right side of my face, and the next one of you that slaps me there make sure its "my" right side, not yours.

I have lost 149 pounds, most of that in the first 83 days, i have lost my ability to eat animal fats, beer is just cold, no taste (my German friends cried over that) i have went down from a size 42/44 in waist to 36/38 (which is strange, but for my size i had a small waist, beer gut on the other hand)

what have i gained?

I have gained pain in my face, well different pain, it was always painful looking in the mirror, i have learned to shave the right side of my face by touch, since i cant feel it anymore its quite a trick, i have gained some new friends, most of them techs and a few patients in the cancer world, i was really surprised on how some of my dealers took it, they were quite shocked (and still are) that i was that sick, and that i came back for more punishment.

lots of people have asked me is i gained a better understanding about my life, i have had people ask me if i found "God" (my reply was "I can only have one"?)  but at least i quit replying "why? was he lost?"

I now look forward to new things in my life, new stress, new strangeness, and such, I have made a plan for next year, i plan on taking a ride on the new motorcycle by breaking it in by going cross country, stops include Mt. Vernon Illinois to see my friend Melody, her husband Russ and of course the little guy i am gonna turn Californian Connor, what other stops i make i am not sure of yet, but hell 1932 miles is planned and that's a start.

Last year, on my Birthday, which was in the center of this madness i made a joke about how instead of a "Happy" birthday cake, i wanted a "unhappy" birthday cake, Christie pointed out that since i could not eat cake it would be a waste of a good joke, but there is always this year.


It has been 388 days since this started, i did not kill that Doctor, which i think is a sign of me trying to mature, either that or i don't want to go to jail over something that could be considered "trivial" in the grand scheme of life, i have better things to do after all.

Later one and all....