Day 1,
Makes it sound like i am an explorer on a mission to deepest darkest .. well in my case 7/11.
I get to have my treatments done at 13.15 so i arrived early, and then they were a bit late, nothing like building up a little anxiety in the patient.
I picked 13.15 because it made sense to me, people who have worked with me before may find that time strange for me, i usually like getting up and out early, get the job done and then coast the rest of the day.
But 13.15 makes sense to me, that way if i am not feeling well (and i have been told there are days like that) i can rest up a bit, and make the appointment, better then missing my time slot and adding days one, know what i mean?
So back into the radiation room i went, mouth guards in, locked into place and that's when it all went to hell, for some reason the mask was crushing down on the bridge of my nose, irritating it enough that i wanted to scratch it, which is rather hard when your shoulders and arms are locked into place.
So in my best manly lisp i get their attention and they come out and help me, damn thing would not just sit right. So after messing with it for a few minutes we decided to go ahead.
your locked down on a table, they make sure all is in place by taking a couple x-rays and then they start shooting, it would have been nice if they warned me about the bell, you know the one that sound while they are shooting you full of radiation, but no, they did not do that, so i jumped, we the best i could locked down on the table.
I am sure i might have imagined it, but the 20 minutes sure seemed like only 5, it just seemed fast, i am sure at the end of this it will seem like hours. As they were half way into it my nose starts to itch, right across the bridge, damn !
So as they finish and they are unlocking me i am like "hurry up" after i am unhooked as Gina (the technologist ) is asking me if i got claustrophobic i am just scratching my nose, she just looked at me and went "oh" she is gonna fix the mask tomorrow.
Its a weird thing, you hear the bell, you hear the pulse (or feel) of the radiation gun firing, but you really don't feel a thing, well except for a bit later.
My throat hurts, and it feels a bit strange, it's alternating between dry wet and it just feels damn uncomfortable, i am pretty sure its me over concentrating on it, but we will see after the next couple treatments.
3 comments:
i can think of few things worse than that sort of irritation when you're locked down and nervous in the first place. i hope they get the mask fixed tomorrow.
After your treatment today, try and get outta your own head. When ya feel like it, do a little research on disassociation, or meditation and try some of those techniques. I know it sounds lame, but when I was so ill I found a way to escape the reality. It did make the pain seem less bad at the time, and the very worse of it seems vague now.
I am sure she will adjust the mask, I can see why that could set off a minor panic episode. You are doing great, and your corners are full. :D:D
I wasen't really panicking, i was itching, i relax, and try and lull myself, but its real hard when the techs like listening to Linoel Ritchie, now i know why they locked my arms into place, i would have cut my wrist, all night long..stop, get out of my head...lol
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