Greetings,
Its been a while and that will make this a quick post..
I have been semi OK.. If you can get past this nagging pouring blood out of my mouth thing.. I have had bout 5 episodes of that, last one on 05/13/2013..according to the ER i lost about 5-7 pints of blood but.. Damn it.. I did not die.. And on top of that i have a bunch of new problems,
1. Dizziness
2. Massive headaches
3. Weakness
4. Mucus on parade
And more.. Lot of it shows up as i walk.. Deep throbbing pain.. Centered in my right ear.. Earaches hurt.
So after being in the hospital for a week i was moved o a recovery /hospice facility.. The nurses and staff are great! Could not ask for better.. Only main thing they say about me is i don't eat well.. I am down to 227..thats sad!
I have an issue that needs clarified..
I am a DNR.. so when i have these bleeds and live what happens next? I mean a couple i understand.. Clean my face.. Get up and rest.
But in the case of the last one.. 5-7 pints gone.. What do o you do? You can't leave me in a chair with that blood loss? And i am sure most of you can understand i am in no way, shape or from to make decisions..
So what happens?
Let me tell you what happened in my case..
The paramedics yelled at me asking what i wanted done.. Like i could answer.. 2 reasons..
1. Not fully conscious!
2. I had so much blood, mucous, clots and such i could not talk.
Finely the decision was made and i was hauled to St. Mary's Hospital where i was filled with tons of fluids and then shipped here to recover.. But come on.. Don't ak the guy who is trying to die on the kitchen floor..
I will type more when i get my laptop.
Cory
A Step across
06/24/2009 i was diagnosed with a form of Head/Neck Cancer after being treated for "Tonsil infection" for 7 months, i remember the last words of my ex-GP "oh, i think i made a mistake" at that point i stepped across, from being a normal person to a cancer patient, this is my sick walk, edited with my humor.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
its been a while..of Holiday system Overload.
Greetings,
Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and a happy New Years, i think i have it all covered.
I thought i posted this last week but my friend Alex (the kitten in his terrible 2's at 5 months old) wiped it out, i am not sure how but i am redoing it, i also find Alex playing on my computer keyboard at times and fedex trucks showing up with "pet Stuff" i think he is smarter then i know.
Well lets see, starting in November i been having adjustments done to my pain meds on a monthly cycle, first it was "Methadone" but that made me sick and too out of it to know what was going on, starting in December i was changed to Oxycontin CR, with a pusher of percodan, that seems to work pretty good, so we will see if i am kept on that, but so far so good.
The palliative care doctor's are trying to get me to accept and move into the last phase of the cycle, that is "Hospice" care, i am resisting, Hospice care does not involve me moving out of my place, on the contrary they do it mainly in home now, i just do not want to feel dependent on other now when i can do stuff myself, plus i am sure my girl "Sasha" and the new boy "Alex" would beat them up, and then they would bring "Leela" in as the 3rd member of the tag team..oh i feel sorry for them, so i will wait till there is less time.
Time...Time is always fleeting, we grew up knowing there would be an abundance of time, but to have your "time" removed from you due to a guy who was not paying attention is just painful, i know in the last part of my life i grew up, most of you who know me from my High School days and after are surprised i did not kill him, honestly, i am surprised i did not also, so i grew up, late but sorry.
Time...now i was given approx 11% chance of living 2 years (that was 01/07/2011) i did that, i lived so long i am running out of COBRA insurance, i was not eligible for the extension (and by the time i found out i exceeded the time limit) now i run out of insurance on 04/01/2013 (appropriate) and i am not sure what i am going to do, my pain meds alone cost 1200.00 a month, so i am not sure what will happen.
I have had a couple girlfriends offer to marry me to cover me on their insurance, i will not do that, basically they could become eligible to pay my medical bills, and i will not do that to anyone, i will find a way, if i have to i will knock over a bank and the feds can pay for my last few months, you have to do what you have to do...anyways i am to ugly to become some "jail yard bitch" so i should be safe....i am kidding, i will find a way.
but anyhow, the tumor is now the size of a medium lemon (lemon tree is so pretty..i know...sick bastard i am) i am still eating, it is getting harder and harder but i am still eating.
I have had people ask me if i have found "Jesus" yet (i was nice, more sign of i grown up, well except for this one pushy person but thats a long story) i am trying to decide if i will be cremated or have my body donated to UCI Medical school for their A&P classes (MR chop-chop class)...but i also believe that there is some sort of spirit in life, i am thinking of cremation with my ashes being scattered in the places i liked best...
But that's where i stand, sorry i really thought i got this posted but i must have messed up when Alex "kitten bombed" the keyboard...its the 21st century version of "the dog ate my homework"...lol
later my friends...have a good time...
Cory
Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas and a happy New Years, i think i have it all covered.
I thought i posted this last week but my friend Alex (the kitten in his terrible 2's at 5 months old) wiped it out, i am not sure how but i am redoing it, i also find Alex playing on my computer keyboard at times and fedex trucks showing up with "pet Stuff" i think he is smarter then i know.
Well lets see, starting in November i been having adjustments done to my pain meds on a monthly cycle, first it was "Methadone" but that made me sick and too out of it to know what was going on, starting in December i was changed to Oxycontin CR, with a pusher of percodan, that seems to work pretty good, so we will see if i am kept on that, but so far so good.
The palliative care doctor's are trying to get me to accept and move into the last phase of the cycle, that is "Hospice" care, i am resisting, Hospice care does not involve me moving out of my place, on the contrary they do it mainly in home now, i just do not want to feel dependent on other now when i can do stuff myself, plus i am sure my girl "Sasha" and the new boy "Alex" would beat them up, and then they would bring "Leela" in as the 3rd member of the tag team..oh i feel sorry for them, so i will wait till there is less time.
Time...Time is always fleeting, we grew up knowing there would be an abundance of time, but to have your "time" removed from you due to a guy who was not paying attention is just painful, i know in the last part of my life i grew up, most of you who know me from my High School days and after are surprised i did not kill him, honestly, i am surprised i did not also, so i grew up, late but sorry.
Time...now i was given approx 11% chance of living 2 years (that was 01/07/2011) i did that, i lived so long i am running out of COBRA insurance, i was not eligible for the extension (and by the time i found out i exceeded the time limit) now i run out of insurance on 04/01/2013 (appropriate) and i am not sure what i am going to do, my pain meds alone cost 1200.00 a month, so i am not sure what will happen.
I have had a couple girlfriends offer to marry me to cover me on their insurance, i will not do that, basically they could become eligible to pay my medical bills, and i will not do that to anyone, i will find a way, if i have to i will knock over a bank and the feds can pay for my last few months, you have to do what you have to do...anyways i am to ugly to become some "jail yard bitch" so i should be safe....i am kidding, i will find a way.
but anyhow, the tumor is now the size of a medium lemon (lemon tree is so pretty..i know...sick bastard i am) i am still eating, it is getting harder and harder but i am still eating.
I have had people ask me if i have found "Jesus" yet (i was nice, more sign of i grown up, well except for this one pushy person but thats a long story) i am trying to decide if i will be cremated or have my body donated to UCI Medical school for their A&P classes (MR chop-chop class)...but i also believe that there is some sort of spirit in life, i am thinking of cremation with my ashes being scattered in the places i liked best...
But that's where i stand, sorry i really thought i got this posted but i must have messed up when Alex "kitten bombed" the keyboard...its the 21st century version of "the dog ate my homework"...lol
later my friends...have a good time...
Cory
Saturday, November 3, 2012
ENT Visit on 10/31/2012..or, what? no new Ink?
Hi there.
that's what my Doctor asked me..."What? no new Tattoo"? told him no, i was going to wait till 01/07/2013 till i did my next one, that will be the 2 year date, the 11% date (if i did not treatments) so i stalled out and am now thinking about what to have inked if needed.
You have to wonder about how the visit goes when he mentions right off the bat "you have made it longer then i thought you would" i have mixed emotions over that statement, either i am stronger then they thought or i am just more stubborn then they thought.
But after a quick look down the throat and a check out of the jaws and mouth i have the following update.
1. The jaws are opening less then before, i knew that, i cry when i try and eat a baby cheese burger like a normal human, my jaws and mouth will not open that far any more, my teeth will open less then two fingers now...but the good news is most finger foods is less then two fingers, but dame i so want a Carl's 6 Dollar western bacon burger.
2. The cancer is starting to make a home in the base of my tongue on the right side, i can feel it there its like a small ball, if it keeps growing they can do some palliative treatments like Radiation, maybe removing it (the cancer) maybe removing it (the tongue) some of you cheered over that last one, you sick bastards!...LOL
3. I am now on Methadone and Percodan, if i do the full mix i sleep for 90 minutes at a time and am lethargic, so i am playing around with the dosage and i think i have it where i want it,
Now this brings me up to the big news....
I rescued a new Kitten, his Name is Alex, he is a Grey Tiger who is a whole 4-5 weeks old(per my Vet) when i found him wandering the streets and alleys, he is a now growing into a fat butterball, he is so full of piss and vinegar that he is making a stab at running the house. Leela is not to fond of him, but since Leela weighs in around 9 pounds and Alex is a whopping 1lb 8 oz's you would think that she would not care, wrong..Alex chased her away the other day and he is King as of now, which brings us to the real master of this House, or Mistress i should say...
Sasha, she does not care, she is been great, she barked at him once and he (Alex) spit back at her and swiped his little paws at her, since then they have been great together, my guess is Sasha thinks its my old Gold Tiger T.C. see, i think all Sasha sees (and smells) is a male cat that is striped like his buddy that's been gone for 2 years now, and i think Sasha thinks T.C. is come back in a smaller form, it smells the same, looks the same, so?
So? i say...well meet Alex....well and i am in here also...
Later one and all...
that's what my Doctor asked me..."What? no new Tattoo"? told him no, i was going to wait till 01/07/2013 till i did my next one, that will be the 2 year date, the 11% date (if i did not treatments) so i stalled out and am now thinking about what to have inked if needed.
You have to wonder about how the visit goes when he mentions right off the bat "you have made it longer then i thought you would" i have mixed emotions over that statement, either i am stronger then they thought or i am just more stubborn then they thought.
But after a quick look down the throat and a check out of the jaws and mouth i have the following update.
1. The jaws are opening less then before, i knew that, i cry when i try and eat a baby cheese burger like a normal human, my jaws and mouth will not open that far any more, my teeth will open less then two fingers now...but the good news is most finger foods is less then two fingers, but dame i so want a Carl's 6 Dollar western bacon burger.
2. The cancer is starting to make a home in the base of my tongue on the right side, i can feel it there its like a small ball, if it keeps growing they can do some palliative treatments like Radiation, maybe removing it (the cancer) maybe removing it (the tongue) some of you cheered over that last one, you sick bastards!...LOL
3. I am now on Methadone and Percodan, if i do the full mix i sleep for 90 minutes at a time and am lethargic, so i am playing around with the dosage and i think i have it where i want it,
Now this brings me up to the big news....
I rescued a new Kitten, his Name is Alex, he is a Grey Tiger who is a whole 4-5 weeks old(per my Vet) when i found him wandering the streets and alleys, he is a now growing into a fat butterball, he is so full of piss and vinegar that he is making a stab at running the house. Leela is not to fond of him, but since Leela weighs in around 9 pounds and Alex is a whopping 1lb 8 oz's you would think that she would not care, wrong..Alex chased her away the other day and he is King as of now, which brings us to the real master of this House, or Mistress i should say...
Sasha, she does not care, she is been great, she barked at him once and he (Alex) spit back at her and swiped his little paws at her, since then they have been great together, my guess is Sasha thinks its my old Gold Tiger T.C. see, i think all Sasha sees (and smells) is a male cat that is striped like his buddy that's been gone for 2 years now, and i think Sasha thinks T.C. is come back in a smaller form, it smells the same, looks the same, so?
So? i say...well meet Alex....well and i am in here also...
Later one and all...
Monday, October 1, 2012
Palliative Care Visit
Greetings, its 01:55 in the morning and i have nothing better to do then try and follow up on my promise to update my blog in a timely manner, so "Hi" how the hell are you doing?
I would offer to turn on the light, make some Tea, but i am pretty sure most of you would try and kick the living shit out of me, cancer or no cancer, i will compromise and type quieter.
Saw the Palliative care doc's on Friday and we have come to the following conclusions,
1. I am still alive, that is always a good thing to know.
2. I am still holding weight, guess i should have told them about the 5 extra pounds of stuff i had jammed in my pockets, cell phone, keys, large wallet, gun stuff like that might screw up the weight total, oh well.
3. The two large lumps on the bottom of my feet (one on each sole) is a form of tendinitis, not sure how that came about, but at least the lumps have names aside from "Thelma and Louise" you can guess which is which.
4. Pain meds were adjusted (again) instead of 5mg of methadone 3 times a day they want me to take 10mg of methadone 3 times a day.
5 and last but not least, they would like to take over all my medicine needs, i have always gone to an outside pain doctor for my meds, done that ever since i tried turning my spine into limp noodles, but since the med doses need closer monitoring they want to do it, i can see that, so OK, i will let them take care of it...for now.
after i was done being poked, prodded and probed i ran a couple of errands, came home did about 3 hours of yard work in the warm autumn sun and that night, for giggles my personal hell came to visit.
I have this strange affliction, it use to only visit every 12-18 months but now it is visiting more often, it's simple picture this,
For no reason, just out of the blue you start feeling cold, and as time goes on you get colder and colder, you pile on the blankets as you start to shake, toss in heating pads, more blankets, a pet or two and you just keep shaking, it will go on for hours (longest i could remember was was 10 hours once, that was when i was in high school) this happened Friday night Saturday morning, no real fever shows up, it feels like i have one but if i measure it it will not show that i have one..strange huh?
I have talked to Doctors over the years about this and they have no idea what it is, I call it "My personal malaria" but i will tell you what, it hurts like hell, i can't move my jaw well and when you shudder like that, or when you get real cold you want to yawn, i can't yawn, hurts like you cannot believe, after its all said and done, i end up feeling like i have run a marathon only to get to the finish line to have to "gang-banger" types there ready to work over every muscle (or pile of fat) in my body with baseball bats..now there is a visual for you.
so now with that in mind, i have a follow up with my oncologist in the morning at 09.45, so i better go stretch out and rest, maybe try to sleep a bit, i hope everyone has had a great weekend, talk at you later.
Cory Houchen
I would offer to turn on the light, make some Tea, but i am pretty sure most of you would try and kick the living shit out of me, cancer or no cancer, i will compromise and type quieter.
Saw the Palliative care doc's on Friday and we have come to the following conclusions,
1. I am still alive, that is always a good thing to know.
2. I am still holding weight, guess i should have told them about the 5 extra pounds of stuff i had jammed in my pockets, cell phone, keys, large wallet, gun stuff like that might screw up the weight total, oh well.
3. The two large lumps on the bottom of my feet (one on each sole) is a form of tendinitis, not sure how that came about, but at least the lumps have names aside from "Thelma and Louise" you can guess which is which.
4. Pain meds were adjusted (again) instead of 5mg of methadone 3 times a day they want me to take 10mg of methadone 3 times a day.
5 and last but not least, they would like to take over all my medicine needs, i have always gone to an outside pain doctor for my meds, done that ever since i tried turning my spine into limp noodles, but since the med doses need closer monitoring they want to do it, i can see that, so OK, i will let them take care of it...for now.
after i was done being poked, prodded and probed i ran a couple of errands, came home did about 3 hours of yard work in the warm autumn sun and that night, for giggles my personal hell came to visit.
I have this strange affliction, it use to only visit every 12-18 months but now it is visiting more often, it's simple picture this,
For no reason, just out of the blue you start feeling cold, and as time goes on you get colder and colder, you pile on the blankets as you start to shake, toss in heating pads, more blankets, a pet or two and you just keep shaking, it will go on for hours (longest i could remember was was 10 hours once, that was when i was in high school) this happened Friday night Saturday morning, no real fever shows up, it feels like i have one but if i measure it it will not show that i have one..strange huh?
I have talked to Doctors over the years about this and they have no idea what it is, I call it "My personal malaria" but i will tell you what, it hurts like hell, i can't move my jaw well and when you shudder like that, or when you get real cold you want to yawn, i can't yawn, hurts like you cannot believe, after its all said and done, i end up feeling like i have run a marathon only to get to the finish line to have to "gang-banger" types there ready to work over every muscle (or pile of fat) in my body with baseball bats..now there is a visual for you.
so now with that in mind, i have a follow up with my oncologist in the morning at 09.45, so i better go stretch out and rest, maybe try to sleep a bit, i hope everyone has had a great weekend, talk at you later.
Cory Houchen
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
alive still...
Greetings one and all..
I have been neglecting my blog for the last few months, only thing that's been going on is that i been on and off again sick, spent a day in Community Hospital in Long Beach due to excessive vomiting (when it can come through your sinus area any amount is "excessive" in my book, that burns"
i not been posting due to the fact i am not one to post "i feel bad"..."i feel better" repeat..know what i mean?
I was up on Signal Hill the other day and saw the Endeavour go over, tried to get a few shots of it but people kept stepping in the way, i felt it would be bad manners to deck them in the head with my camera and tripod during that event, i did end up with two shots so it was not all that bad.
aside from that i am on new painkillers (methadone) and added bonus of Percodan, i wish i had a system that would make me feel "high" when i take this stuff, but it does not.
well i have two more doctors visits in the next few days and then this round will be over, a nice little chat with Palliative care (yes i am still alive) and then a nice chat with the Oncologist (nope i not died yet).
aside from that i get to have Breakfast in the A.M. with an old co-worker (yeah he is old, he does not read this so i am safe) and then take my truck in for an oil change and maybe? who knows what else.
Speaking of me and my old truck, i picked up this old explorer on the cheap (2400.00) but a few hundred into it (stereo, seat covers stuff like that) and she is like me, old, beat up, not that much to look at but she damn well runs, i can't complain she is a good old girl.
aside from that i will try and post a little more diligently from now on, but until i take that fateful last swing to Hospice there is not much to say, but i will try and be better at saying nothing (if i could do that i would be in politics)
later one and all.
P.S. and take a minute and wish Ms. Benson a speedy recovery, that's Holly's mom to my friends that can't remember, she took a fall in her studio (she does great stain glass work) and banged up her wrist and her butt, ..take care...
I have been neglecting my blog for the last few months, only thing that's been going on is that i been on and off again sick, spent a day in Community Hospital in Long Beach due to excessive vomiting (when it can come through your sinus area any amount is "excessive" in my book, that burns"
i not been posting due to the fact i am not one to post "i feel bad"..."i feel better" repeat..know what i mean?
I was up on Signal Hill the other day and saw the Endeavour go over, tried to get a few shots of it but people kept stepping in the way, i felt it would be bad manners to deck them in the head with my camera and tripod during that event, i did end up with two shots so it was not all that bad.
aside from that i am on new painkillers (methadone) and added bonus of Percodan, i wish i had a system that would make me feel "high" when i take this stuff, but it does not.
well i have two more doctors visits in the next few days and then this round will be over, a nice little chat with Palliative care (yes i am still alive) and then a nice chat with the Oncologist (nope i not died yet).
aside from that i get to have Breakfast in the A.M. with an old co-worker (yeah he is old, he does not read this so i am safe) and then take my truck in for an oil change and maybe? who knows what else.
Speaking of me and my old truck, i picked up this old explorer on the cheap (2400.00) but a few hundred into it (stereo, seat covers stuff like that) and she is like me, old, beat up, not that much to look at but she damn well runs, i can't complain she is a good old girl.
aside from that i will try and post a little more diligently from now on, but until i take that fateful last swing to Hospice there is not much to say, but i will try and be better at saying nothing (if i could do that i would be in politics)
later one and all.
P.S. and take a minute and wish Ms. Benson a speedy recovery, that's Holly's mom to my friends that can't remember, she took a fall in her studio (she does great stain glass work) and banged up her wrist and her butt, ..take care...
Monday, July 2, 2012
Motel 6 in a heatwave
Greetings, i am done with the first part of my trip, i am sitting in a Motel 6 in the middle of america in the middle of a heatwave, i have not been feeling that well the last few days, so that has made me decide to head back to home, or in that direction roughly.
I have seen some old friends while on the road, i have met up with Connor and with Melody and Russ, i have watched the chaos of the fireworks stand, i have seen the upper part of the country again, if i was to live i would probley move to the lower part of colorado and live there, but since i am not...oh well.
I plan on taking the southern route home, through Missouri, Oklahome, Texas, New Mexico and then Arizona..i like the desert, no matter what i say about it i always liked the desert, i just did not like Barstow.
As you read this (well most of you) i will be gone, moving down the road, looking at the sight..
later all.
I have seen some old friends while on the road, i have met up with Connor and with Melody and Russ, i have watched the chaos of the fireworks stand, i have seen the upper part of the country again, if i was to live i would probley move to the lower part of colorado and live there, but since i am not...oh well.
I plan on taking the southern route home, through Missouri, Oklahome, Texas, New Mexico and then Arizona..i like the desert, no matter what i say about it i always liked the desert, i just did not like Barstow.
As you read this (well most of you) i will be gone, moving down the road, looking at the sight..
later all.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Greetings and...
By the time most of you read this i will be off on the Road, i am heading out since i do not have anythnig to do for a month, so i loaded up the only thing as beat up as i am and off we are...i will drop notes from the road...later all...
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